Family Life in Atlantic America During the Civil War

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Family life in Atlantic America underwent a dramatic change during the Civil War. While many of the people in the North were still farming, there was a large part of the population that was working in the factories and the cities, as well. Many of the middle-class men who has grown up during the first part of the 19th century had done so in a family working environment, on the farm, at a mill, or in a family shop. But, as time went on, much of the men’s work available took place outside of the home and family locations. Instead, men began to travel to the business premises, such as at a factory or in an office. It was not uncommon for fathers to be working 10 – 14 hour days outside of the home, which is partially how the home environment came to focus almost exclusively on the wife and children.

Family Life of the Slave Family During the Civil War and Early 19th Century

The family life of the middle class was quite different, however, from that of the slave family. Slave families were an important institution among African-Americans, though it was an incredibly unstable institution, partially due to the influence of the whites. Many slaves lived together as man and wife, though they never had any form of marriage ceremony. Others felt that the union through clergy was important, and underwent a ceremony. Marriage, at the time, was considered a legal medium for handing property down through the family. Slaves had no property, and therefore, the law so no need to recognize any union of the slave family as legally binding.

During the federal occupation, investigators in New Orleans records that more than 500 marriages had taken place among slaves. Of these discovered marriages, fewer than 100 had survived. While some unions lasted anywhere from 20 to 40 years, the average slave marriage lasted only 5.6 years. The records indicate that 70 percent of these marriages ended by personal choice or natural death, and only about 30 percent ended because of the plantation owners.

Most plantation owners during the Civil War times did not like breaking up slave families and marriages because it increased the unhappiness of the slaves, causing unneeded problems. However, the planters often had extravagant lifestyles and difficult financial situations. As a result, most slaves would be auctioned off at least once in their lifetime, causing families to split. Slaves could be bought or sold, rented out for profit, gambled, or even left as an item for inheritance in the will. There were no laws that allowed slave families to stay together.

Funerals and Death During the Early 19th Century

Civil War era families participated in many rituals together. Several of those rituals related to death. Death in the 19th century was viewed differently than it had been in earlier times, largely because of the romanticism of the era. The time period had high levels of infant mortality, and the tragic loss of more than 600,000 soldiers in the war meant that death was a part of daily life for many Atlantic American families.

Rituals involving death were primarily practiced throughout rural cemeteries. When the Civil War broke out, nearly every city in the North and the South had its own rural cemetery. The family plot was the central focus of these cemeteries, providing a safe and secure final resting place for loved ones. Families sought out specific locations for their own plots, with roadside family plots among the most desirable.

Family monuments were also present in the rural cemeteries. While earlier in history cemeteries would boast skeletons and death’s heads on tombstones, the Civil War era brough about kinder images of cherubs and angels, symbolizing the journey of the departed toward heaven.

While family plots were popular with many families, not every family could afford a plot early in life. Rural cemeteries had separate sections for those families, in which they could bury young or stillborn children. Later, when the family could afford a plot, the children would be re-interred.

Slave Families and Funerals in the Civil War Period

In the slave families and freed Southern families, death rituals were largely rooted in their African history. In dying, it meant that one went home. To the slave, death was reason to celebrate because it meant freedom. Just as they were in Africa, graves were decorated with the last items that the deceased had used. This often mean pottery, medicine bottles, toys, or containers were placed on the grave. However, prior to placing them on the graves, the items were broken to break the tie to the living. Failure to break the tie, it was believed, meant that similar fate may happen upon the surviving families. Some slave owners allowed their slaves to take a portion of the day off for the funeral. Some planters also gave the slaves food for the celebration. Others, however, required that the funerals be held at night, after the working days.

Sources and More Information on Family Life in the Civil War

Salisbury, Joyce E. and Andrew Kersten. “Family Life in Atlantic America.” Daily Life through History. ABC-CLIO, 2011. Web. 28 Feb. 2011.

Information on Colonial America from the University of Chicago

Thomas, E. M. The Confederate Nation: 1861-1865. New York: Harper & Row, 1979

Resource by J.Ellis

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